The Menu
Joe makes every drink himself. He's not happy about requests. Order anyway.
The Wake-Up Call
$4.00Double shot pulled at 9 bars. Short, dark, perfect. Joe doesn't say good morning — this does it for him.
The Monday
$5.00Two shots cut with hot water. Because some days you need something big and uncomplicated. Joe gets it.
Don't Talk to Me Yet
$6.50Double shot, steamed milk, microfoam. Classic latte. Drink first. Conversation later.
Still Grumpy
$6.50Equal parts espresso, steamed milk, and thick foam. Old school. Unchanged. Unimpressed by trends.
The Silent Treatment
$6.75Ristretto shots in velvety microfoam. More coffee, less milk, zero small talk. Smart choice.
Half the Words, Twice the Hit
$5.50Equal parts espresso and warm milk. Small. Powerful. Precise. Like Joe's opinions.
Not the Starbucks Kind
$5.00Espresso with a dollop of foam. The real macchiato. Joe insists on this being clarified every time.
Sweet Side of Grumpy
$7.00Espresso + house dark chocolate + steamed milk. Joe has a sweet side. He won't admit it.
Barely Functional
$8.00Quad shot, brown sugar syrup, oat milk, pinch of cinnamon. For when two shots just won't do it.
The Grumpy Fix
$7.50Double espresso, brown sugar, cinnamon, oat milk. The drink that started it all. Joe's secret weapon.