The Menu

Joe makes every drink himself. He's not happy about requests. Order anyway.

The Wake-Up Call

$4.00

Double shot pulled at 9 bars. Short, dark, perfect. Joe doesn't say good morning — this does it for him.

veganclassic

The Monday

$5.00

Two shots cut with hot water. Because some days you need something big and uncomplicated. Joe gets it.

veganclassic

Don't Talk to Me Yet

$6.50

Double shot, steamed milk, microfoam. Classic latte. Drink first. Conversation later.

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Still Grumpy

$6.50

Equal parts espresso, steamed milk, and thick foam. Old school. Unchanged. Unimpressed by trends.

classic

The Silent Treatment

$6.75

Ristretto shots in velvety microfoam. More coffee, less milk, zero small talk. Smart choice.

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Half the Words, Twice the Hit

$5.50

Equal parts espresso and warm milk. Small. Powerful. Precise. Like Joe's opinions.

vegan-option

Not the Starbucks Kind

$5.00

Espresso with a dollop of foam. The real macchiato. Joe insists on this being clarified every time.

classic

Sweet Side of Grumpy

$7.00

Espresso + house dark chocolate + steamed milk. Joe has a sweet side. He won't admit it.

sweet

Barely Functional

$8.00

Quad shot, brown sugar syrup, oat milk, pinch of cinnamon. For when two shots just won't do it.

strongstaff-pick

The Grumpy Fix

$7.50

Double espresso, brown sugar, cinnamon, oat milk. The drink that started it all. Joe's secret weapon.

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